She climbs, unhindered, high into the tree and my breath catches. I worry about scrapes and bruises and broken arms. I worry she is climbing too high, that the next branch might be slightly out of reach. But I smile. "I see you!"
She beams. She needs this. She needs to hear her mother ooh and ahh over her accomplishments, praise her efforts and support her endeavors.
The truth is...we need it, too.
Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the math lessons, the history readings, the laundry folding, the food preparation. We feel invisible or, worse yet, buried under it all. And sometimes we just need someone to praise our efforts. Ooh and ahh over our accomplishments. To whisper heartfelt words of encouragement. To say it out loud.
I see you.
We walk home, basking in the sunshine, carrying our tokens of nature, and I wonder who sees me right now. I wonder if anyone cares that I'm constantly sweeping the kitchen floor and wiping away crumbs. I wonder if anyone notices the long hours I spend in the kitchen or the effort put forth in the education of these minds. I wonder if I'm truly being buried under my workload...invisible to the world as I labor and love.
"First one to the house wins!" She voices the challenge loudly as the house comes into view. We all take off and I, the last one there, come rushing into their joy. My baby girl throws her arms around my leg and says it into the cool air. "I love you mommy."
And the Voice I have come to know so well speaks tirelessly and the words quicken my heart.
They see you.
We all walk into the house together. I gather up the jacket and gloves and begin, again, in the kitchen. I smile as I work and I know it is true. They are watching right now. They can't comprehend the work or the effort. And they know nothing about selflessness or motherhood. But they see me.
The life I pour into their souls and this home is worth the effort for a lot of reasons. But today...the reason that touched my spirit...is this truth. A mother chasing hearts and nourishing souls is a woman to be noticed. Not by the esteemed of this world fallen...but by the hearts of these children given. And that is reason enough.
Tia, I so get this. It's such a strange and wonderful feeling to be "seen" by your children. It always stops me in my tracks. It is one of the best honors in the world.
ReplyDeleteTia, this made me bawl. BAWL. I can't help but feel like this time is flowing through like sand in my fingers and I can't grab a hold of it. I wonder all the time what the boys will remember and if I'll write down enough of it to remind them of all we experienced together. This post made me feel like it's enough that in this moment, they see me and I am important to them now. And that our Lord sees me and will always remember these special moments with me.
ReplyDeleteErika, I so know that feeling! That the days, the time spent giving and loving, is "flowing through like sand in my fingers and I can’t grab a hold of it." But, you are right...in this moment, their little eyes raise and see our efforts, yes? And our love flowing into their souls...
ReplyDeleteP.S. I would love to hear about your trip sometime...
Yes, Johanna! No honor greater on this earth...
ReplyDeleteTia- there's going to be a presentation at The Edge next Wednesday night at 6PM, if you want to hear about the trip. Or I can just email you...
ReplyDelete